Breaking Ads

Mon, Feb 04, 2013 05:10 PM by Lizzy Cooperman and Jessie Gaskell

People who thought the Super Bowl ads were sub-par obviously missed the incredible, sponsored blackout. Congratulations to Jim's Generators for a truly unparalleled ad experience. As for the rest, we took the liberty of ranking them with a system as inconsistent as the bowel movements of Americans today.

AUDI PUBERTY PROM


Emotional Manipulation
Appeal to Nerds
Forgetability


SHOCK VALUE WITH BAR REFAELI


Appeal to Nerds
Vulnerability
Bonerability


BABY CLYDESDALES LOVE BUDWEISER


Clarity of Message
Bestiality Quotient
Sarah McLachlan Effect

 

SEXY FISH SERENADES SEXY BEER


Reliance on Song
Bestiality Quotient
Effectiveness as an Ad for Sushi

 

GRANDMA'S GORDITA CRUNCH


Exploitation of the Elderly
Licensing of Top 40 Hit
Actual Tacos Shown

 

PSY and Dancing Legumes


Backup Dancer Employment
Relevance to Product
Jumping the Shark Style

 

Sponsored by Tom Cruise


Desperate Actor Employment
Disappointed Parents
Creative Direction by Xenu