Caption This!: Bare Cross-Bearing Crossing

Mon, May 20, 2013 04:14 PM by Shannon Lucas

Taking the whole 'born again' thing rather literally, aren't we?

Friends and family are trying to be supportive but this religious streak of his came out of nowhere.

 

Have a better caption for this stitchless sprinting spiritualist? Submit your own apocryphal offerings in the comments section below. The owner of the funniest and most original submission will receive psalms of praise, here and on our Facebook page. The end is nigh; Thursday at midnight, so be sure to have your ideas in before then. Let the Naked Jesus Race begin!

via Cheezburger

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Caption This!: F-150 Strike Eagles

Mon, May 13, 2013 05:09 PM by Shannon Lucas

Don't ever park in Gandalf the Grey's spot. Retribution is just one butterfly away.

THIS. SHALL. NOT. PASS!!!!

Have a better caption for this Hitchcockian tableau? Swoop on down to the comments section below to commence with your assault. The owner of the funniest and most original caption will be showered with buckets of praise, here and on our Facebook page. The contest concludes on Thursday at midnight, so please have your ideas in before then. Now, RUN YOU FOOLS!

via Cheezburger

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Caption This!: Bad Boy

Mon, May 06, 2013 02:17 PM by Shannon Lucas

The news chopper footage for this one was INSANE.

Also found in the suspect's possession were 3 grams of Fun Dip, a Spongebob thermos, and well over $4.75 in pilfered lunch money.

Calling all cards! Have a better caption for this schoolyard street tough? Submit your own in the comments section below. The owner of the funniest and most original entry will be made honorary sheriff of thesouptv.com for a day, here and on our Facebook page. Foil-covered chocolate badge not included. Our dragnet will conclude Thursday at midnight, so be sure to have your ideas in before then. Take 'em away boys (and girls)!

via i-am-bored

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Caption This!: Mother N*ture

Mon, Apr 29, 2013 02:03 PM by Soup Staff

Scientists remain baffled how the tree's structural integrity has shifted, causing it to become Mel Gibson. Apparently, the gesture dates back to Ancient Rome, when trees were dicks.

In his defense, he hasn't worked since Lord Of The Rings. Now all he has is an Ayahuasca addiction, a dirty hammock, and an offer to be on Splash.  

Do you have a better caption for this expression of contempt? Please submit your ideas by Thursday, or endure the unpredictable forces of nature and a missed opportunity sure to rack your soul!

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Caption This!: Freeballing

Mon, Apr 15, 2013 04:17 PM by Shannon Lucas

Just in case you needed a less obvious reason to refrain from peeking under kilts...

Even more impressive, he totally nailed the 7-10 split AND it earned him his second Turkey in a row. 

Have a better caption for this master asslete? Get the ball rolling in the comments section below! The owner of the funniest and most original caption will be blasted into the spotlight, here and on our Facebook page. Have your submission in by Thursday at midnight if you want to make your shot count.

via i-am-bored

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Caption This! Winner: The Harder They Fall

Fri, Apr 12, 2013 04:14 PM by Shannon Lucas

We got quite a response for this week's Caption This! photo. Mostly righteous indignation and blanket condemnation for alluding to America's voracious material appetite by way of a portly effigy...but some actual caption submissions were studded throughout as well!

For the record, before revealing our favorite fat joke—er—clever caption, we thought we'd put this little chart here for funsies.

(EXPAND)

Perhaps we should've focused our comedic efforts on Kuwait but apparently they're our allies or something, so we ended up deciding against it. Also, we didn't really know anything about Kuwait and they weren't in the picture anyways.

But enough rationalizing away the cruelty and mercilessness that fester in our cold, dark hearts. Let's announce a winner!

Some people don't take kindly to that sort of humor Jonathan. Fortunately for you, we are not among them. Congratulations on capturing the bravado and devil-may-care attitude that help make this great nation such a...great...nation.

Thank you to our other submitters, as well, for your smorgasbord of witticisms. Be sure to return on Monday for another heaping helping of Caption This!

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Caption This!: The Harder They Fall

Mon, Apr 08, 2013 12:43 PM by Shannon Lucas

This picture pretty much sums up our nation's foreign policy:

Ours Is Bigger.

If you try and start something, Kim Jong Un, know that we will drown you in corn syrup and Kardashians. We have an endless supply of both.

 

Have a better caption for this Freedom Fries Fighter? We Want You! Fly your true colors in the comments section below. The owner of the funniest and most original caption will be singled out for special notice, here and on our Facebook page. Fat jokes and expressions of American exceptionalism will not be tolerated. Just kidding. Have your submissions in by Thursday at midnight, after which we and the NSA will completely lose interest.

via College Humor

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Caption This!: Stairway To Heaven

Mon, Apr 01, 2013 12:40 PM by Shannon Lucas

How many broken clavicles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

He says 'Two...but that's it!'

At least we think that's what he says. He's been hard to understand ever since he bit off his tongue in the first attempt.

 

Have a better caption for this Leaning Tower of Babel? Submit your own in the comments section below. The owner of the funniest and most original submission will be celebrated and placed on a wobbly pedestal, here and on our Facebook page. Be sure to have your ideas in by Thursday at midnight, when the contest comes to it's abrupt but inevitable conclusion.

via i-am-bored

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Caption This! Winner: Rite of Spring

Fri, Mar 29, 2013 05:00 AM by Shannon Lucas

Psychologists say the best way to overcome a nightmare is to confront it. If you stand your ground, what was previously terrifying will become harmless and/or amusing. This strategy works in dreams and against Boggarts, so why not deploy it against a phantasmagoric Easter Bunny? Your comments provided ample ammunition.

Unfortunately, our favorite captions both went the opposite route, deepening our primal dread and adding yet another layer of scar tissue to our already battered psyches.

Congratulations Shawn! Your contribution was like the finest Himalayan Pink Salt, rubbed expertly into our open mind-wounds. Do you mind if we mention you by name to our therapists?

Also, a well-deserved Honorable Mention goes to Kelley Criss Wiman for invoking the mental image of Gary Busey in a bunny suit.

Thank you Kelley, for doing what needed to be done.

Thanks to all our other contributors as well! Take the weekend to mentally process this latest trauma, then get ready for an all-new Caption This! contest on Monday.

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Caption This!: Rite of Spring

Mon, Mar 25, 2013 12:43 PM by Shannon Lucas

Easter isn't just about celebrating the martyrdom and resurrection of Christ any more. You can certainly still do that, of course. Just be sure to find some time to traumatize your child for life as well. It is, after all, a time for new beginnings.

After going through the trouble of painting and hiding all those eggs, all the Easter Bunny wants in return is to feast on the tears of our children. For chocolate binges and weird-looking egg salad, it seems like a small price to pay.

Have a better caption for this unfortunate childhood development? Submit your colorful surprises in the comments section below and we will go on a little hunt for the funniest and most original among them. The owner of the winning caption will be showered with praise and virtual plastic Easter grass, here and on our Facebook page. Have your ideas in by Thursday at midnight or else the Easter Bunny will come in the dead of night to perch on your bed and watch you sleep.

Have a better caption for this unfortunate childhood development? Submit your colorful surprises in the comments section below and we will go on a little hunt for the funniest and most original among them. The owner of the winning caption will be showered with praise and virtual plastic Easter grass, here and on our Facebook page. Have your ideas in by Thursday at midnight or else the Easter Bunny will come in the dead of night to perch on your bed and watch you sleep. 

pic via Reddit

 

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