If you were consumed with Justin Bieber's new fragrance—so sweet it drives men wild—and missed your Soup this week, here's the good stuff.
1. The Voice: This helpful show schools singers on how to deal with the show biz success they crave. In the case of teen sweetie Casey Weston, well, she better get used to dealing with stalkers enthusiastic male fans.
One minute they were ready to spend the rest of their lives together, and then...it was over. Of course, we're talking about Crystal Harris and Hugh Hefner, who has running suppository prescriptions older than the curvy piece of Rascal candy he almost made his Mrs.
Still, for Harris, the breakup was shattering. So much so that the only comfort she could find was partying poolside in Vegas with notoriously empathic Heidi Montag.
Good for swingin' single Crystal, but for Hef-ex Holly Madison, not so much.
In this evening's shiny new Soup...
Bristol Palin moves on to the finals of Dancing with the Stars, which proves that not only is the show not about stars, it's also not about dancing...
The unholy creation known as Speidi gets married again and the only people who care are the producers at Entertainment Tonight...
Joel gets a hold of some early Taylor Momsen footage and discovers she was a disturbed child right from the start...
Survivor drags on to day 25, and Jeff Probst does all he can not to drag the contestants into the ocean and drown them...
And Harry Potter guzzles some butterbeer and dips his wand into the unemployment pool...
Slurp it all up tonight at 10pm ET/PT!
As with the devastating assasination of President John F. Kennedy, every American knows exactly where they were when they heard the tragic news that Heidi and Spencer's love nest had been robbed: Killing time in a supermarket checkout line reading whatever cheap tabloid was nearby.
But, as jurassic reporter Mary Hart will tell you with a big perma-smile, it really was a nightmare. At least for Speidi's dog. Actually, let Joel spill all the beans, as he will again tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT when a hot dose of Soup comes your way.
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In tonight's fresh batch of galactic gazpacho...
Police storm Speidi's house and we nearly find out what a bullet does to 105 pounds of silicone...
Sarah Palin stops by Dancing with the Stars to watch her abstinence-promoting-non-virgin-daughter Bristol grind into her dance partner...
Oprah invites her former talk show host competitors onto her show to peck at the remains of their carcasses...
The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim tries yet again to sing, and Joel's ears try yet again not to bleed...
And Modern Family's Sarah Hyland pops in to be harassed by the one they call Mankini...
Fill your belly with a bowlful tonight at 10pm ET/PT!
Recently Heidi Montag sat down on her man-made ass to talk to Life & Style magazine and reflect on her decision to turn herself into her own wax figure. And as Entertainment Tonight reports, turns out she thinks—shockingly—that may not have been the smartest idea.
