Rob Kardashian (you know, the one in the family that seems to somehow be a regular person) has been doing an admirable job of fighting against his lack of boogying prowess to hang in on Dancing With the Stars. But while the fancy footwork doesn't come naturally, he apparently does have a certain natural gift.
It takes a man with a special knowledge of true love to be able to predict when such alleged feelings wlll go south, and that man is Joel McHale. So he was off by a couple days with the Kardashian-Humphries implosion. Big deal.
But wait, there's more! Your all-knowing host has the inside poop on all things Kardashian, so grab a bowl of bozbash and settle in when a new Soup enters your life at 10 p.m. ET/PT!
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There's no denying the sadness within the Kardashian family at the moment, but luckily plucky Joel McHale is able to bring a moment of happiness to this tragic situation. Meaning Bruce Jenner's still fair game.
As is so much else, as you'll see tonight when a new Soup comes your way at 10 p.m. ET/PT!
MORE: Engaged Woman Fears Face Full of Junk on Bachelorette Party: Las Vegas
Zombies. Bloodshed. Murder. Kardashians. Seacrest. A dancing maxi-pad.
Prepare for the best trailer you've ever seen. On a basic cable show website.
Then gather your stunned self and come back for more Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
Tyra Banks has her aspiring models practicing hard to get to the top, and that involves dealing with all manner of unexpected situations.
Like standing around in a tent when all of a sudden the Kardashian sisters appear! Makes sense, as everyone knows how the Kardashians have long encouraged young girls to enter modeling, but they also talk about their Sears line of clothing. Which they happen to be wearing.
What are the chances?
We'd love to write something clever but we're too consumed with trying to forgive ourselves for being aroused by Nancy Grace on DWTS. So let's just move through the shame cycle and get into the best of this week's Soup.
1. America's Next Top Model: The season's just kicked in, but already the judging is heating up. This week, hopeful Lisa comes under scrutiny for certain behavior that might have made her Germany's top model. In 1942.
One down, four await.
God knows, if it weren't for the vicarious thrill of watching Kim Kardashian's wedding, our personal fulfillment would consist of little more than Bad Girls Club and malt liquor.
But God certainly does know that, which is why He gave us the spectacle of all things Kardashian in the first place. And He also gave us Joel McHale, who gives you everything you need to know about the important ceremony in all the time it deserves. A little over a minute.
Don't forget to come one back for a full half hour of Soup at 10 p.m. ET/PT, this very night!
Just when life seemed so perfect for sexy Kim Kardashian—a wildly popular reality show, the dream wedding, the Mensa-level intellectual power—it all comes crumbling down like a house of cards.
Yes, she lost her diamond earring. In the ocean. And while many people might remove jewelry worth tens of thousands of dollars before dipping in, not Kim.
Imagine the audacity of that ocean! Does it not know who this woman is?
Joel McHale does, and he'll get to the bottom of the story tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT when your weekly Soup comes your way.
When is a Kardashian not a Kardashian? When she trades in a highly profitable quality brand name famous for wildy popular reality shows, lucrative endorsement deals, a clothing line and a chain of high-end boutiques for a name famous for proposing to someone with all of the aforementioned stuff.
A wonderfully traditional gesture, but Keeping Up With Mrs. Humphries doesn't exactly have the same ring to it. But why not let Joel explain it all?
He'll do that and more on your new Soup, tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
As American Idol proved this week, America loves country warbler Scotty McCreery. The America that also loves dining at Circle K and chrome bull testicles dangling from the bumper of their Dodge Ram Hemi. And that's our America, by the way. Now you can join Joel McHale in watching Scott's head move!
Speaking of love, check out Wendy Williams' blistering impression of Kim K.'s big proposal moment.
Then come back for more on your fresh Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT!
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