Poor Lindsay Lohan. Not really, more like endless screw up Lindsay Lohan, a pattern that has yet again landed her behind bars. But it won't be for long, as Access Hollywood reports.
And while part of Lilo's sentence is community service, the question for the judge is where can she actually be of service.
It's not easy being a celebrity, and if you don't believe it, Dr. Drew is here to provide all the hand-wringing proof you need.
This season, the good doc is helping folks like Jessica Kiper, Bai Ling and Jeremy "Not One of Those Jacksons" Jackson through intense substance issues. Imagine how hard it must be for real celebrities.
And then there's recovering booger sugar enthusiast and emotional powder keg Michael Lohan. At least he sired a real celebrity.
Michael Buckner/Getty Images; John Sciulli/WireImage.com; Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com
By now you've heard the tale of the scandalous kurfuffle between Hollywood's Bad Seed, Lindsay Lohan, and Hollywood's Golden Grandma, Betty White. White recently smeared LiLo as "unprofessional" and "ungrateful." The Mean Girl fired back, labeling White's behavior "strange." It's an unexpected showdown and only one can be left standing. Read on as The Soup Blog breaks down the sordid Tale of the Tape...
The continually unfolding story of Lindsay Lohan's reckless behavior is shocking, tragic and sad. And almost as entertaining as the Charlie Sheen Good Time Fun Ride Experience. Almost.
But now, thanks to a special Entertainment Tonight report exclusive to The Soup, Lilo may have out-outrageoused even the Sheenster!
Come back for more on your fresh Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT!
E! Networks
In tonight's bowl of liquid that you eat...
Celebrity Apprentice returns to your TV, as does the babbling vessel of bat shit insanity that is Gary Busey...
Two and a Half Men disappears from your TV, unlike the babbling vessel of bat shit insanity that is Charlie Sheen...
Entertainment Tonight airs surveillance footage of Lindsay Lohan shopping for her alleged stolen necklace, and it is far more shocking than most feeble minds can handle...
The Real World heads back to Vegas for season number 25, and the recently de-virginized housemate Mike heads back to the Bible for sexual encounter number 2...
And RuPaul's Drag Race says more with its crotch then it could ever say with its lips...
Choke this one back tonight at 10pm ET/PT!
E! Networks
In tonight's fresh new sloppy spoonful...
Televised starvation is back in vogue as Survivor returns to the airwaves, and one castaway is already running dangerously low on saliva...
Charlie Sheen gives Lindsay Lohan life advice, which has to be Lindsay's absolute rock bottom...
Computers begin their inevitable takeover of mankind when Watson the Supercomputer dominates some future human slaves on Jeopardy...
Gold Rush Alaska's Jack Hoffman digs deep into his glory hole for the hottest nuggets yet...
And Portlandia star Fred Armisen stops by to trade some gum and significant glances with Joel...
Guzzle down this tasty nectar tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT!
AP Photo/Jae C. Hong
Being a recovering alcoholic doesn't mean you still can't indulge in a few laughs at a fellow addict's expense. In fact, it just makes it funnier! Ask Jane Velez-Mitchell. The Issues With Jane-Velez Mitchell star stopped by The Soup not only to plug her new addiction tome, but to sport some sizzling LiLo courthouse couture.
And bang host Joel McHale.
Sorry, only with a gavel. See for yourself.
E! Networks
In tonight's fresh batch of blotter acid...
Lindsay Lohan gets charged with felony theft for stealing a—oh, who gives a crap? SHE'S WEARING A WHITE DRESS!!!...
American Idol shows us a half-man half-rat who gets eliminated in half a second...
The little kid who played Darth Vader in your favorite Super Bowl commercial is revealed on Today, but the man behind the mask isn't who you think he is...
The Bachelor's Ali screams at a bug, which frightens Brad so much the neurons in his brain almost begin to fire...
And Issues With Jane Velez Mitchell's Jane Velez Mitchell stops by to channel her inner Lohan...
Watch at 10pm ET/PT! We'll know if you didn't...
David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com; ebay
Who wouldn't want a chance to purchase a garment personally owned by Lindsay Lohan?
No, we're not talking about a prison issue jumper, but a sporty polka dot top suitable for a fun night night out getting liquored up or a casual court appearance. It's a special garment waiting for that special Lindsay lover on ebay, and bidding starts at a mere 75 cents!
The post claims it's from "beautiful Lindsay Lohan's closet," but it also states the blouse has "no smoke stains or tears." No smoke or tears?
Are we talking about the same Lindsay Lohan?
Richard Lautens/Toronto Star/Zuma; Xposure Photos
As Christmas Eve draws closer and toy-making pressure intensifies within the Santa Claus compound at the North Pole, rumors abound that the latest Lindsay Lohan debacle at the Betty Ford Clinic has left Claus in a difficult position. Soup sources contacted the Yuletide figurehead for comment.
"It boils down to this," the normally jolly Kringle revealed. "Does Lohan's behavior this year warrant a decent toy, or is she getting a lump of coal? I mean, the missed court appearances, the probation violation, the insurance mess over her role in Deep Throat—that was a real disappointment for me—and now this whole Betty Ford deal…I've reviewed this with my top elves, and their takeaway points to the naughty list."
Yet Lohan is not alone in her ranking, admitted the sainted Christmas powerbroker. "Taylor Momsen's on serioulsy thin ice with me, Charlie Sheen's not worth getting chimney scum on my suit, and Kanye's been a champion d-bag in '10. Though I did enjoy My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy."
Claus's final decision in the Lohan case won't be revealed until the morning of December 25th. "She's a repeat offender. Will there be something under the tree? We'll see," he stated. "I can tell you one thing though, she's not getting that fifth of Grey Goose she asked for."
