Soup Top 5: America's Next Top Model Scores One for der Fatherland

Sun, Oct 02, 2011 06:22 AM by

We'd love to write something clever but we're too consumed with trying to forgive ourselves for being aroused by Nancy Grace on DWTS. So let's just move through the shame cycle and get into the best of this week's Soup.

1. America's Next Top Model: The season's just kicked in, but already the judging is heating up. This week, hopeful Lisa comes under scrutiny for certain behavior that might have made her Germany's top model. In 1942.

One down, four await.

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Paris Hilton, Indian Giver on Access Hollywood

Wed, Sep 28, 2011 03:30 PM by Peter Gilstrap

Now that The World According to Paris has been kneecapped for ratings so low they make Homekeepers With Arlene Rippy's Nielsen numbers look like the M*A*S*H finale, Paris Hilton is forced to actually take her vapid, glossy schtick to another world altogether.

Meaning, she's exporting her talents to India, a country apparently so deprived of entertainment they're willing to put up with her...

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Soup Top 5: TWATP Star Paris Hilton Mad As Hell, but Will Actually Take It Some More

Sun, Jul 24, 2011 09:02 PM by Peter Gilstrap

If you're still mulling over the news from Vanilla Ice that he "never badmouthed" Justin Bieber, and whether this means that he goodmouthed him instead, well, take a break and open wide for the best of this week's Soup.

1. Paris Hilton: The woman named after the City of Love was filled with hate for ABC reporter Dan Harris went he went all hardball on her during an exclusive news chat. Watch not-so-gay-Paris get into a huff, a snit and adopt a 'tude of general bitchery, all at once!

 

 

 

Keep clicking, and thus chuckling! 

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Paris Hilton: Not So Good Morning America

Wed, Jul 20, 2011 02:30 PM by Peter Gilstrap

Though she may seem like a snotty, shallow rich lady with ice running through her veins, Paris Hilton is human.

And when it comes to getting free publicity for your ratings-challenged reality show by submitting to an interview with some pesky reporter from Good Morning America—and it always does, doesn't it?—well, a human can only take so much.

That's what ABC's Dan Harris found out when he asked one question too many and got under not only multiple layers of tan, but the Hilton skin itself...

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The World According to Paris: Hilton Hands Down Family Oral Tradition

Thu, Jul 14, 2011 03:59 PM by Peter Gilstrap

Paris Hilton has never been considered a font of deep wisdom, but when it comes to sex advice, she actually does have some very specialized knowledge that might come in handy for cousin Brookie...

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Does Hilton Have Answer to Boy Troubles in The World According to Paris?

Thu, Jul 07, 2011 03:00 PM by

In TWATP, Paris Hilton's BFFs must also be in her employ.

Like Jennifer Rovero, Hilton's personal photographer. And dear friend. You may know Rovero from her days as a Hawaiian Tropic bikini model or her month as Playboy's Miss July 1999.

Poor Jen is all weepy over the fact that she can't get the guy she likes to like her back, but luckily Paris knows just what to say to raise a girl's self-worth.

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Soup Top 5: American Idol Scotty McCreery Reveals Mound Skills

Sun, Jun 05, 2011 06:03 AM by Peter Gilstrap

If you spent your week consumed with why they're making Rocky: The Musical instead of the clearly more obvious choice of Judge Dredd: The Musical, and missed your Soup dose, let's catch up.

1. Live With Regis and Kelly: There's no doubt teen Idol big shot Scotty McCreery is a monster at vocalizing, but at baseball? According to the Big Mc it's true. Somebody up there likes him, apparently.

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The View: It's Paris Hilton's World, We Just Yawn in It

Wed, Jun 01, 2011 04:34 PM by

If you think The World According to Paris sounds like a dull and shallow place, you're right, of course. 

But, according to Oxygen, this is a planet that somehow merits exploration. Thus, Hilton appeared on The View (along with her mommy) to pimp the show and take some tough questions from the notoriously 60 Minutes-like couch crew.

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The Wendy Williams Show: Wendy's Paris Hilton ConspirASSy Theory

Thu, Dec 09, 2010 12:16 PM by Andrew Genser

Wendy Williams is never shy about expressing her opinions. It's what makes her Wendy Williams. Well, that and the two giant medicine balls hanging from her chest. So this morning, when the topic of whether or not Paris Hilton has had butt implants came up, Wendy let us know what she thought. And, proving once again that they'll applaud for anything, her audience ate it up.

 

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Rules of Engagement's Patrick Warburton Sucks on McHale Like The Tick

Fri, Sep 24, 2010 12:30 PM by Peter Gilstrap

There's no denying that all of us, except that guy to your left, were shocked, saddened and confused when we heard the news of Paris Hilton's alleged cocaine bust in Japan. But when it comes to shocked, saddened and confused, Patrick Warburton's reaction makes our pain look like a Sunday afternoon at Rehab at the Hard Rock. Check out that rack, dude!

But why read about it when you can watch the man implode right before your very eyes? And guess what? Apparently, Joel McHale's face doesn't taste good.

Yes, there's even more where this came from tonight on a new Soup at 10 p.m.! And tell that guy to your left.

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No need to deprive yourself till tonight, when there's plenty of laughs available right now in the video gallery. Get clickin'!