SNOOKI AND JIONNI: A ROMANCE TO VAGUELY REMEMBER
Now that Snooki's officially a mom, requiring her to fist-pump every two to three hours, we took it upon ourselves to stroll down the scabies- and memory-inducing sands of Jersey Shore, and in doing so, stumbled upon some striking connections between Snooki and Jionni's love story and some of the greatest romances of all time. We'd like to shine a light on those now, since this could be our last chance to celebrate their love before turning our aggression toward their innocent baby.
ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA
With Snooki from Poughkeepsie and Jionni from East Hanover , the star-crossed lovers have overcome far greater strife than the Greco-Roman War. Crossing enemy lines just to crash on her futon, Jionni, like Antony, found himself falling for Snooki because of her penchant for excessive amounts of liquid eyeliner.
HARRY AND SALLY
Together, they prove Harry's theory that men and women can't be friends until one gets a UTI from butt sex.
WILLIAM AND KATE
The royal couple introduced themselves by kissing on the balcony, whereas Snooki's urine has kissed the actual balcony.
JACK AND ROSE
Both couples consummated their love during the most horrific maritime disasters of all time, on the sinking ships known as The Titanic and Jersey Shore.
BERT AND ERNIE
Snooki and Jionni resemble Bert and Ernie down to a tee; except in this case, the orange one never bathes.