Bachelor Pad: Will Hunk Blow Chunks?

Wed, Aug 10, 2011 12:34 PM by Peter Gilstrap

Now that Ashley and J.P. are well on the way toward undying love, it's time for the losers and also-rans of Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons past to regroup and play out their desperate swinger fantasties under one roof.

Meaning, Bachelor Pad is back, complete with the kind of meaningful mating rituals that so many love-hungry couples engage in. When they want to win money. 

Here we have Casey and Vienna teamed against Jake and Jackie, to see which couple can literally hang on to each other the longest while suspended in the air.

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Ashley Hebert Bachelorette Shocker on Live With Regis and Kelly

Tue, Aug 02, 2011 02:02 PM by Peter Gilstrap

Despite the flurry of rumors that Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum have been less than completing each other in the months since The Bachelorette tapings ended, they appeared on Live With Regis and Kelly this morning acting like giggly enamored teens after a couple Champales in the bushes behind the library.

Besides setting that record straight, Ash offered some candid feelings on the show itself.

Plug your ears, Chris Harrison...

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For Corns' Sake: The Bachelorette Takes Heat From Hater Sis

Tue, Aug 02, 2011 10:55 AM by

Now that the world knows Ashely Hebert chose smilin' older man J.P. over sweaty, unshaven punk Ben, we can go back and review the magic of what went into that big decision.

Namely, Ash's older sister, Chrystie Corns, who uses her experience as a single mother of two, celebrity gossip disher and extreme couponer (check out her deal on pork ribs—sweet!) to offer some searing tough love to her weepy, confused sibling.

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Soup Top 5: No Fear of Pants Goblins on Paranormal Challenge

Sun, Jul 31, 2011 06:33 AM by

We know you're busy emptying your bank account on snazzy items from Home Shopping Network's Mariah Carey Collection (try the udder balm—you won't be sorry), but why not take a break and catch up on this week's finest moments in Soup?

1. Paranormal Challenge: Though interacting with terrifying spirits of the undead is what this show's all about, apparently no one's afraid of an encounter with host Zak Bagan's balls.

Keep going. Four more chances to snort.

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Ashley Rides Topside on The Bachelorette

Wed, Jul 27, 2011 05:00 PM by Peter Gilstrap

As we all know, Ben is one of only two men left on The Bachelorette, meaning he could be enjoying the pleasure of Ashely Hebert's chirpy company for the rest of his natural life.

For now, however, on a yacht off the shores of Fiji, discriminating Ash takes the passive wine-making stud for a test drive, enthusiastically mounting Big Ben in a shameless cowgirl position for a sizzling get-to-know-ya oil-up session...

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Ashley and Ben Take It to the Fantasy Suite on The Bachelorette

Tue, Jul 26, 2011 08:08 AM by

The pressure is on as Bachelorette Ashley Hebert makes her anxious remaining suitors work for the prize of her forever love, and first to have to prove himself is Ben.

A sultry night in Fiji, a romantic dinner, some horned-up flirtation (on Ash's part, anyway)...could things get any better?

Yes...

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Condensed Soup: The Bachelorette Bails on Another One

Fri, Jul 22, 2011 10:30 AM by

The Bachelorette's Ashley Hebert has so much quality manhood to choose from she's able to cast off even a lovable, mannequin-esque hunk of potential husband.

Of course, we're talking about Ames, who manages to combine confused, heartbroken and devastated into an empty perma-grin as he leaves the show with a handful of flop sweat instead of a rose.

 It's a moment so wrenching it takes the sensitive touch of tender Joel McHale to put it all into perspective...

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It's All Greek to Ashley on The Bachelorette

Tue, Jul 19, 2011 04:21 PM by Peter Gilstrap

As the season dwindles down, it's not only Bachelorette Ashley Hebert and her gang of husband-meat pretending that this show is real. Now the dudes' families have to play along, too.

Ashley's meeting of the parents brings her to casa Constantine for a major throwdown, Greek-style...

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Not-So-Private Ryan Weeps in Public on The Bachelorette

Tue, Jul 12, 2011 01:43 PM by Peter Gilstrap

In a strange place called Taiwan ("not a lot of people know about it," titters Ashley), the Bachelorette gets one step closer to marriage status by dropping solar-energy dim bulb Ryan.

Yes, the guy whose response to Ash's shameless suggestion to "teach me something right now" was to launch into a jaunty monologue about water heaters.

And he was surprised to get booted off.

Anyway, after a few minutes spent crying in the shrubbery, Ryan collected himself enough to offer this soliloquy...

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Soup Top 5: Selena Gomez Older, Still Somehow Hot

Sun, Jul 03, 2011 05:15 PM by

It's only hours until you can get liquored up and blow part off your hand off with the illegal fireworks that will also light your garage roof on fire, so why not be a patriot and spend it catching up on some Soup?

1. Selena Gomez: The talented cutie and Bieber lover is turning 19 next month, and Regis Philbin can't seem to wrap his head around that.

Keep clicking, folks!

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