It's time to deconstruct what happened on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and plucky MC Andy Cohen has the great Wendy Williams riding shotgun to translate the true meaning of what spaketh the wives of house.
And the first item on the agenda is the cryptic reference to something called CPT...
Once again, the Real Housewives of Atlanta break out the southern charm and personal dignity that serves them in such good stead during their rare moments of disagreement.
Here we have Ne Ne Leakes and Sheree Whitfield sitting down for a quiet lunch to discuss Ne Ne's early, less lucrative years.
As the new season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta kicks in, we find the gals offering up exciting tidbits from their unique personal histories, chapters that helped build them into the respected women of strength they are today.
Here, NeNe Leakes reminices fondly about her post-abusive-relationship job that renewed her damaged integrity: Stripping...
Quantrell Colbert/Bravo; Mitchell Haaseth/NBC; iStock
You may not be aware, but The Soup Awards are barrelling down on us faster than a barrel barrelling down to the doctor's office after a Snooki photo shoot.
That's right, on Friday, April 1 at 10pm ET/PT, our handsome Soup overlord Joel McHale will be handing out awards to the year's most...er, Soup-y people in a special one-hour extravaganza you don't want to miss.
What's more, seeing how we are a show of, for, about and sometimes even inside the people*, we are giving you a voice in the episode. Vote in the following poll, as well as in upcoming polls, and let us know which stars you'd like to see stud this star-studded affair.
Sound off after the jump, then tune in April 1 to watch the madness you will have helped unleash!
*In 2004 we shrank the staff and filmed a show entirely from within a lucky fan's colon.
Paris Hilton turned 30 this week! What could be more exciting than that? We know, reading something on your computer. So open the gift that keeps on giving (if by keeps on you mean for like five minutes) and enjoy the best of your week in Soup!
1. The Oprah Winfrey Show: Iyanla Vanzant was once the go-to expert in matters of the heart on Oprah's show in the '90s. Then the pair had a mysterious falling out. Was it over money? Ego? Gorging rights to the last Big Mac in the bag? The truth has never been revealed, and now emotional wreck Vanzant returns begging forgiveness. But will Oprah be big about it?
One down, four to soak up!
When a woman's visit to the salon goes so badly her hair starts to fall out, you know her first move is not to call the wig shop, but Nancy Grace! For some of that Swift Justice we've all been hearing so much about!
Good thing, too, as Nance just happens to have on hand Dwight Eubanks, stylist to none other than Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Let's watch Dwight untangle this mess!
Quantrell Colbert/Bravo
The Real Housewives of Atlanta aired part one of its reunion last night. Yes, as soon as you think the housewives are gone, they reunite and come roaring back. Just like herpes. Anyway, the reunion itself was mostly uneventful, although we did learn about a recent thinly veiled anti-Kim Zolciak tweet by Nene Leakes.
Super Bowl, Schmuper Bowl. You can eat crappy food and get drunk watching the best of your Soup week just as easily. Though there are fewer men in tight pants.
1. The View: Camille Grammer stopped by to sing the blues about her split from Kelsey, a visit that included this nugget: their sex life was about as vibrant as the petrified forest. Sizzling AARP hottie Babs Walters had a thing or two to say about C.G.'s apparently untappable booty.
One down, four to go.
It was the season finale of Real Housewives Atlanta last night, and the show climaxed with the dramatic event they had been building up to all season: Cynthia marrying Peter Kim making Sweetie feel her new boobs.
When we last left The Real Horrible People of [Insert City Here], Kim and NeNe were fighting on the tour bus. This week things were different. They were still fighting, but it was immediately outside the tour bus.
